Monday, October 10, 2011

The day my world came crashing down!

I took parts of this from my sister's facebook, but its the whole story of whats going on right now.

My mom has cancer.

What kind or where you ask? She has 5 tumors on her brain, 2 in her lungs, her kidney, and the doctors suspect her bones and blood. They told us 3-4 months.

5 years ago my mom was told that she had kidney cancer. This was based off of one CAT scan. All other tests done at the time didn’t show cancer anywhere else. She was treated and a couple of years ago, she had blood work done and nothing came up on that either. We thought we were in the clear.

In January/February she decided to do some remodel type work on her bedroom. She tore up the carpet and started sanding the wood floor beneath it. The walls had wood paneling on it and we took that off to discover layers of paint and wallpaper. She started scraping that off but found it to be quite the job. My brother assessed the situation and decided to step in. They took down the old wall boards and but up new stuff. The room looks pretty great. However, a few months later, my mom found out she had lead poisoning, we’re assuming from the paint she scraped off the walls as well as the wood flooring she sanded. All summer she has been pretty sick with this. She lost a lot of weight and had no energy. Communicating was frustrating to her because she would lose her train of thought. At some points I was shocked to see that in some ways, she was like a small child. Turns out, she also suffered a stroke.

While receiving medical treatment through all of this, it wasn’t until a couple of weeks ago, September 16th, that she went into get a heart murmur checked out. The doctor she saw about that was quite alarmed and sent her to the ER. They didn’t see anything bad about the heart murmur, but did a CAT scan, MRI, and who knows what else. They found the tumors on her brain, in her lungs, kidney, etc. Saturday, September 17th, they told us “About 3-4 months.”

What a roller coaster ride it’s been since then, although this past week, things seems to have calmed a bit. She is at home, unable to get out of bed. We have hospice keeping tabs on her. My aunt, my mom’s older sister, has been staying with us helping with her care. My mom tells us, although very limited in being about to communicate, that she wants to live. She wants to fight it. She wants to prove the doctors wrong. So we support that. She always needs to have someone with her, so my sisters and I have been trading times sleeping in the same room and just being with her. My brothers have been great in coming by to be with her and spending time with my dad.
This is why I have come back to Utah. I'm not sure how long I will stay but the time being I am one of the caregivers, I do what needs to be done. I have Chloe with me so at times my ability to do alot has been limited because of caring for Chloe but I have been blessed with babysitters at times, during the day I take care of my mom with my aunt, during the night I turn back into mommy, and sometimes its both parts at the same time for all day.

It's hard to be here and see my mom knowing whats going on in her body, at times I can't breathe because of the overwhelming pain of it all. I dont want to lose my mom, she was been my best friend since before I was born. She is the most amazing woman I know, with unwaivoring faith I hope to have some day. But I know it's not the end, no matter how long she has here, I will see her again. As much as it kills thinking of her dying it hurts more thinking of her in any pain or discomfort, and we have been blessed  with very little pain. Thank You Heavenly Father! She has some really great days and for that I am grateful!

Being away from Steven has been hard especially with everything hitting us down there as well, at times it is hard to think of everything going on and how we are even going to get through it. But my parents taught me well and I will do my best to trust the Lord and rely on him.

Right now I just need some really good friends and alot of prayers. Thank you.

Chloe holding my moms hand. My mom loves when Chloe comes and lays with her or holds her hands, its the cutest thing! Chloe really brightens up the day. She smiles big when Chloe says "Grandma" or "I love you" my mom says it back with a big smile! And my mom's smile lights up the room! Especially when it reaches her eyes. Chloe loves her grandma alot!
My mom at full health, January 1, 2007.

Love you mom!

1 comment:

Bryan, Becky and Brielle said...

Awww Rach, I finally was able to get on my computer and read this. You are so strong, and I'm sure your mom loves having you & Chloe around to give her the strength to fight this. You all are always in our prayers. Love you!